STORY HIGHLIGHTS
- Dean Obeidallah: My iPhone has been great to me, but I'm getting restless
- He says he's losing interest in the rumors of a new iPhone 5
- He's even flirting with the "younger Samsung Galaxy"
Editor's note: Dean Obeidallah,
a former attorney, is a political comedian and frequent commentator on
various TV networks including CNN. He is the editor of the politics blog
"The Dean's Report" and co-director of the upcoming documentary, "The Muslims Are Coming!" Follow him on Twitter: @deanofcomedy
(CNN) -- I feel guilty. My iPhone has been great to
me. Loyal. Hard working. Holds a charge well. Sure, we had some dropped
calls, but who hasn't?
But something is wrong with our relationship. And I know it's not my iPhone, it's iDean.
Yes, I know this isn't
the best time to bring this up, what with Apple's earnings report
showing that so many others are also falling out of love with their
iPhones. But I could not keep it inside any longer.
Dean Obeidallah
I realized our problems
had gotten bad when reading media reports about the new iPhone 5
expected to be released this fall. In the past, those articles truly
excited me. I couldn't wait for the new iPhone. I would scour the net
looking for more hints. An image. A rumor. Anything. In those days, I
was crazy about the iPhone.
But when I read about the
iPhone 5, my reaction was not one of excitement, but pity. The iPhone
is doing all it can to stay attractive. Lose weight. Increase its screen
size. Work faster. It's like the phone version of Madonna.
Maybe the iPhone caught
me looking at the younger Samsung Galaxy. I tried not to look. But how
can I be blamed for taking a glance? So, I Googled an image. And yes, I
asked a friend if I could try his. But I haven't done anything wrong—at
least that's what I keep telling myself.
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I
longingly think back to how my relationship started with the iPhone. It
was the summer, 2007. I thought it would be a typical summer. I'd use
my phone to make some calls, text friends from it. Nothing exciting.
But then I saw it. Sure, I
had seen the commercials, but I didn't fully appreciate the beauty of
the iPhone until I saw it in person. At that moment, I vowed that
nothing would stand in my way of getting my hands on one--except the
hundreds of people standing on line in front of me at the Apple Store.
My first iPhone had me
at "Hello." Actually, there were a lot of dropped calls in those days,
so technically it had me at: "Can you hear me now?" But hey, we were
young. Neither of us knew what we were doing or where it would lead. But
we agreed to give it a shot—a one-year shot, to be precise, per the
terms of my service agreement.
That amazing year flew
by. Before you knew it, the iPhone 3G arrived. It looked like the
original, but was faster. More powerful. It could do things the first
iPhone couldn't. In defense of my first iPhone, it would have gladly
done these other things if it were technologically capable.
Then in June 2010 came
the biggest moment of our relationship: The iPhone 4. Just as Steve Jobs
promised: "This changes everything. Again."
It felt like 2007 all over again. Plus it was better. The new iPhone was sleeker. Thinner. Faster. It was beautiful.
Those were probably the
best days of our relationship. Texting, e-mailing, surfing the Internet
while speaking on the phone. Even our worst moment, the time I
accidentally dropped the iPhone in the toilet bowl, didn't slow us down.
Despite everyone saying my iPhone would never be the same after this
incident, it was better than ever.
Maybe it was foolish to think that this bliss would last forever. But I did.
The first time I sensed
something was wrong was in mid-2011. June 7, if I recall correctly.
That's when the iPhone 4S was announced. I had hoped for an iPhone 5. A
fully redesigned, greatly improved iPhone. Instead it was just a
slightly faster version of the same old thing.
Maybe my expectations were to blame? Maybe it was Siri's fault? But in any event, my feelings sadly began to fade that summer.
Since then, I have found
myself increasingly checking out the Android and Samsung Galaxy. I'm
not saying I'm moving on. Even though the thrill might be gone, there's a
comfort to being with something you know well.
But there is no longer
passion. I feel like I'm just going through the motions. I mechanically
dial phone numbers or mindlessly type texts. I don't even scream at Siri
anymore when she says: "Sorry, Dean, I don't understand what you're
asking."
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